One of the most distressing experiences for any human is the experience of feeling hopeless. The sense that possibility and choice are just things that happen to other people.
I have often said to myself and I have heard others say. I don’t have a choice. It is true that there are some experiences in life where we don’t have much choice. How-ever I have learned over time; that often, it is not that we don’t have choice, but that:
We disqualify the choices that are available in some-way because the consequences of making the choice may be uncomfortable.
There might be a choice available that we just don’t like or makes us uncomfortable. For example, if you want to lose weight there is the uncomfortable reality to face that it requires changing diet and activity levels and learning many new pieces of behaviour. The choice to make a change is discounted because it feels to hard. However, the hard the choice-the choice still remains.
Or perhaps we don’t want to face the responsibility that comes from making the choice. For example; if you’re stuck in a relationship that does not meet your needs. If you ‘make a choice to leave or to begin a relationship a-new you have to deal with consequences of your decision. Of course, your human there is a risk you could make the wrong choice. So, the choice is risky, and it comes with responsibility, but the choice still remains.
Being able to choose becomes owning your power. With owning your power comes responsibility. With owning your responsibility, you have accept risk. With risk comes uncertainty. Gain and loss.